So...I just had probably the tensest moment I've ever experienced in my life, and to be completely honest, I'm probably the most depressed I've ever been in my life. I don't want to be here. Period. Here's the deal: I've had neck issues for the past 6 months possibly, but not for certain, stemming from an injury that occurred in Ohio while riding a roller coaster. I thought it was a skeletal problem, but after getting more than a few adjustments with no improvement (specifically in December), I felt around on the right side and realized their was a very large lump under my right ear. So, I started taking some antibiotics that I had left over from other infections, and prayed that it would go away. It didn't. So, I talked to the family (our hosts). I asked for a doctor's appointment, thinking it was a swollen lymph node. So, we set one up, miraculously on a day I had off, and went to the doctor in Funehiki. By the way, this is the same doctor that told my friend Nate last year, after giving him nearly a dozen tests including X-rays and an endoscopy, that there was nothing wrong with his stomach. He was in so much pain he couldn't walk. This doctor gave him gas pills and sent him home, assuring him there was nothing wrong. Shortly after, Nate went back to America, because the pain had reached emergency level. It turned out he had 2 hiedal hernias. Yeah, buddy, "nothing's wrong," eh? Well, I went to this same doctor. Surprise of surprises, he also told me, "nothing's wrong," after feeling around my neck for a while like I had cooties. I don't think he even located the lump. He just said, "no mumps (mooomps), no lymph, you have no illness." Aaah, yes, those are the only two things that could have possibly been wrong with me. I see. And since you couldn't find the lump at all, yes, I'm sooo inclined to trust you. So. I waited a few more weeks and the pain increased, this time causing occasional migraines. So, I contacted my doctor at home, a friend of the family. He perscribed a Z pack. By some miracle, I was able to get it, and took the antibiotics just as perscribed, without the family's knowledge. Ignorance is bliss. But, the pills didn't work. I still have a lump, bonish-feeling thing under my right ear, my neck is still in chronic pain, and I still get serious headaches on occasion. So I tried my doctor at home again. I even talked to him directly this time. He finds it very difficult to believe that I can't just have a physician here check out my symptoms. To be honest, so do I. So, he asked if I could get some tests run. I gently told him that the doctor in Funehiki is "less than trustworthy" (which he also couldn't understand), so I told him I'd try to get another doctor in Koriyama. Second oppionions are common practice, right? Well, apparently, not in Japan. It's unheard of. Doctor's word is gospel. Nonetheless, I had my friend Nate (same guy with stomach issues) talk to the family on my behalf (indirectness is best). So, they said going to Koriyama would be ok. So, I just waited for the tests from my doctor, through my mom. Well, there was a little unplanned disaster in Mansfield this week, specifically a flood in our new basement (currently being built), which caused a few days' delay on getting the tests. No problem, right? Wrong. Kawaai sensei apprently thought it was so urgent (even though I've had pain for 6 months) that she should talk to our boss (without my knowledge) and that he should go to Koriyama to talk to a doctor about me (again, without my knowledge). He doesn't even really know what's wrong with me. So, I went in today to try to print out the tests I told her were coming, but my email account doesn't like Japanese computers, and I had to try 3 different computers today (throughout the day) to get the thing to print. She was not happy with me. She was upset. I hadn't given her the tests. The thing is, she never told me she wanted them. She never told me she needed them. She never told me that my boss was going to talk to a doctor without my knowledge! But, it all worked out, right? Wrong again. The final thing she didn't tell me, or didn't ask me, rather, was whether I had plans on Spring break or not. I have been looking forward to Spring break for months. Adriane and I have planned a trip to Kyoto, the cultural heart of Japan, possibly my only chance to see it while I'm here. We've booked a hotel, figured out when our buses will leave, worked it out to meet friends in Tokyo on the way home, I've even talked to teachers and students at my school about good places to visit. I was pumped. We were leaving the 29th and coming back on April 4th. Not quite a week, but enough to get a breath of fresh air. Ha! So, guess what? My boss scheduled a doctor's appointment for me on MARCH 30th! This was all completely without my knowledge. They never even asked me if I was leaving. For all they knew, I could have been going back to America for break. So, anyway, when I told Kawaai sensei that I would be out of town that day, she looked at me like, "So? What are you saying? Of course you'll change your plans." The thing is, though, that I didn't offer to. Not this time. You could have cut the tension in the air with a knife. Why they can't change the appointment, I don't know. So, my boss walks in later. And, like an older sibling tattling on a younger one, Kawaai sensei brought me over to him and explained that, "Holly will be out of town on the 30th." (she did this in English so I could understand her. None of the other parts of the conversation were in English). She was staring at me the whole time like, "Now, what do you have to say for yourself? You're so ungrateful." I know my face was beat red the whole time. I just stared at the floor, focusing all my concentration on not bursting into tears. Eventually, Encho sensei (my boss) offered to go to the doctor in my stead on the 30th. He said it would be good to "have the tests into the doctor first" (I'm sure he was just saying that so that there was a reason behind it all....an indirect way of communicating that is common here). It all sounds like nothing, I know, but after being here for over 6 months, I'm no longer clueless about the Japanese indicrect way of communicating. Or the nonverbals. She was ticked off, no question, and she wanted me to feel shamed. Well I did. And I want to go home.