Living in Two Worlds Ok, can I just be frank for a few minutes here? Living in between two worlds just plain SUCKS sometimes. I have found myself, at various points throughout the day today, INTENSELY desiring to be home (in my parents' new house, which is actually a new thing for me...) and also INTENSELY desiring to never leave this place (particularly when, during lunch break, my new 7th grade girls spent quality time giggling with me and actually trying to CONNECT with me). It sucks. It just seems like whenever I finally start to get really connected with a place, actually start to engage with people in friendships, I LEAVE. I've been called a "gypsie heart" or a "wild heart" before (I think the term I'd use for myself would be "nomad"), but sometimes I just get so tired of it. I am so grateful for all of the experiences I've had, and God has used them to mold and shape me in ways that I'm not sure I could have been molded and shaped if I had stayed in the same place. But sometimes I just want to have a person beside me that can say, "remember when we did this and that together?" and have it be more than 2 years ago. Granted, I do have friends that have been there longer than two years, but they are few, and they're not in my life right now. I will probably never be able to look at somebody and have them understand where I'm coming from. Ever. That sucks. I just want to belong. I belong in this team. It's the first real feeling of belonging that I've had since, probably, junior high, and how much do you EVER really feel like you belong in junior high? Roamer. Will I ever be able to have real roots? I look at some of the cherry trees here, and they're so old and established, their roots travel far beyond the reaches of the branches. In fact, one that I may see tonight is like 1,200 years old. So established. Amazing. Will I ever be a tree, or just a potted plant that gets transported here and there? And how much do I REALLY desire to be planted? I don't know. It's a scary thing, but I think I want it. I don't know. Whatever God wants. He is my dwelling place. He goes with me wherever. I just sometimes wish there was somebody else who did, too. Wonder of the day (#108): God is our dwelling place. And amazing 7th grade girls who can absolutely fill my need for love and acceptance simply by sorting through my stickers.