Coming back to Japan was hard this time. Actually being here is hard, too. In my last two trips home, I really wanted to "experience" my home country again. I made schedules to see people, ate all the foods that I missed, went to the places I love, etc. But this time, we had two extra days--enough time to not just experience America, but to actually become an American again. I had a little bit of reverse culture shock in my first week--being surprised at how different people looked, saying "sumimasen" instead of "excuse me" when I bumped into someone, looking for a cash basket to put my money in when I bought coffee, and one big emotional explosion over direct vs. indirect communication and individual vs. community mentality, but by the end, I felt like (if I had a car, of course), I should be going back to work (in Mansfield) and living life as usual. My brother Nathan and I were acting like goofballs--hiding and scaring the other person when the other person came out of the bathroom (this effected a pillow being smothered into my face at one point = ), dancing like hunchbacks to some good old Louis Armstrong, making up words while playing boggle, and just generally laughing a lot. This is something I don't do much in my day-to-day life here (excepting with my teammates, of course), mainly because people are so serious. Thus, after Tammy and I finished catching up in the first two hours of the flight, for the rest of its duration, I was pretty serious and down. It only worsened when I reached the airport and I was assaulted with Japanese (ok, so the guy was just asking if I had anything to declare, but I couldn't understand him and it felt very much like an attack after not sleeping for 30ish hours). I couldn't even remember my phone number when I went to the place to ship my luggage. I couldn't remember how to ask to buy a train ticket to Koriyama, the crowdedness and pushiness of Tokyo station seemed foreign, and this morning when the 10:00 "alarm" went off, I was really confused. I guess the good part about all this is that it probably wouldn't take me long to get reacclimated in America. The bad part is that it wouldn't take long for the last two years of my life to feel like a dream. There are good parts about being back, of course, and those are mostly related to my team. Adriane came over this morning, and we processed together and shared our hearts--a beautiful thing, let me tell you. Then we had leftover Christmas cookies, kick-butt coffee, and heart-attack omelettes. Yum. Dear friends and God through them make even the hardest things in life bearable, ne? I'm thankful, as I've said many, many times before, for my team here. I missed them in America. It will be hard to leave them. One day while I was doing my devotions in the US, I turned to Psalm 62 (specifically in the New American Standard edition). It talks about how we can put hope in nothing and no one but God only. Something to remember no matter where we are in life. Nothing is for certain except God, and in him and his promises we always have hope. Good to know and trust in. And this part is for me (and maybe family and those I saw) mostly because others might find it boring, but here are some highlights from my trip...ok, probably a lot of highlights from my trip once I start writing, but anyway: Seeing my family--the good, the bad and the ugly (though it was mostly good ; ). We are a lot closer than we ever used to be, and genuinely dedicated to making things work as a unit and a support system. That was amazing to realize over the two weeks I was home. Catching up with friends--both super close and those I hadn't seen or talked to for quite a while. I realized that I have been blessed SO much in my life to have such genuine people to call friends. I also realized that these people came from many different periods in my life--from junior high, high school, Huntington, Africa, Ohio State, Youth For Christ, Bible studies, jobs, church, camp, Japan, and random events in between. God has been so good to bring such people into my life. Food. Aaaaah. Fatty, sugary, American food. Feeling like a woman. This may sound strange, but it was so nice to have doors opened for me, to be told I looked nice, to wear less than 6 layers, and other little and not so little things that I never, ever get here. Very refreshing = ). Seeing movies. I saw THREE movies in the theater. Yes! Seeing how much my family has grown. I mentioned this already, but I specifically noticed it in my brother, Chris. If he reads this he'll probably be ticked, but I was so blessed by him keeping a level head and being willing to be a "go-between" in some issues that we had. I've seen that we've all matured a lot in the last year and half (yes, my parents, too), which was really, really encouraging. God works in us even when we're apart. Going wedding dress shopping with Trish. So fun. Sleeping in and not feeling guilty about it. Hanging out with my mom and my almost-sister Stephanie. Just hanging out. Having the time to say, "hey, you want to go to lunch or catch a movie?" My last trips were so rushed and scheduled that this wasn't very possible. Going to church. I don't agree with everyone all the time that goes to my home church, but as someone else told me over break, it was nice to have people wrap their arms around you and genuinely make you feel like you're loved. Coffee. And lots of it. ; ) Quiet. Peace and quiet. No small children waking me up at 8:00 on a Saturday morning. No community alarms, no school buses outside, no politicians petitioning for your vote over a loud speaker, no torrential winds, no shrine gongs, no giggly junior high girls. Now some of this stuff I don't mind so much, and sometimes even love, but it was nice to have a 2-week respite. People genuinely concerned for how I am doing and who I am. Not being labeled for "being an American" or even "living in Japan", but being seen for me. Just me. Playing piano. I pulled out some of my old music and had fun letting my fingers remember what they used to do for 12 hours a week a few years ago. Sometimes I can't believe music was such a huge part of my life and now how much it really isn't... Driving. This wasn't all good. I got lost like 3,000 times, and 99 percent of the time I couldn't get my dad's car to start because of a spare key issue, but it was definitely memorable. And I think I finally figured out the roads near my parents' new house...after a lot of "scenic detours". The generally more relaxed pace of life. My neck actually got to the point of not hurting. It was amazing. A cell phone. Not having to separate trash into 7 different categories. Sure, this means that we're totally destroying the environment somewhere, but let's just be honest. It was nice. And so many more things that I'm sure I'll recollect over the next week or so. There were many difficult moments, mostly related to attachment and detachment, reverse culture shock, and the uncertain state of my future, but I'd rather not remember those, so I'll leave them out of this entry. It was a good trip home. A really good one. And I'll remember it for a long time.