Miso Konyaku strikes again.... Before I start this entry, let me explain just exactly what miso and konyaku are. Miso is a flavor, very popular in Japan, created from fermented soybeans. The problem is that I think it actually tastes like fermented soybeans...with a lot of salt, of course. Konyaku is a substance made from seaweed, another ingredient very popular in Japan. Somehow it's made into a clear paste or something and turned into a really, really hard jello. Now, the fruity flavored konyaku (which come in little bite-size packages) are very tasty, and, if I might add, very fun to eat. Miso-flavored konyaku, however, even on a stick...well, not exactly my idea of fair food. So, yesterday I was thinking to myself aroud 3rd period "Gee, it would be nice if one of the teacher's brought in some omiage today. Omiage are like "souveniers" brought back by someone who visited another city or something (I will be expected to bring them back after my holiday in the States). Usually omiage are food, which around third period is really nice, because my breakfast is pretty much worn off. To my delight, around 10:30 I heard the clanking of what sounded like spoon against bowl, and I looked up to see Hida san (the lady who takes care of school lunches, cleaning, gardening, and pretty much everything around the school) passing out little bowls of mystery with a spoon inside. I was sitting at my desk, so, being below her level, all I could see was the bowl and spoon, but I did hear little squeals of delight and "oishii!" (delicious) coming from the teachers to whom she handed these bowls. I expected something like soba noodles, or, I don't know, something I would really, really like. I waited in anticipation, stomach rumbling. Then she came to me. She set it on my desk. And I just stared at it. For a full minute. I just couldn't believe, of all things, it was....you guessed it, the jelly junk, steaming hot and waiting to ruin my appetite for the rest of the day. I just kept thinking to myself "how on EARTH can I get this down? The first time was manageable, but now I actually know what it tastes like!" Thankfully, I got an idea. It just so happens that during third period, not many teachers are in the teachers' lounge. Lucky for me, all those within sight distance, except for Tamaki sensei, the English teacher, were teaching during that hour. So, I got sneaky. Tamaki sensei, at one point, had a question for another teacher, and I seized my one opportunity. There was a pile of books between me and the teacher she went to talk to, and another pile between me and another teacher on my left. Thankfully, my kleenex box was located in just the right place so as to be hidden by those two piles. So, I made some quick clanking noises with the spoon and bowl, (to sound like I was eating), then plopped half the gunk onto a kleenex, and wrapped it up as fast as I could, just in time for Tamaki sensei to return to her desk (next to mine). Unfortunately, she then had to run over a lesson plan with me for an hour, so I held the steaming ball of mushy gunk in my lap, hoping it wouldn't leak through the kleenex (the miso stuff definitely looks like a runny version of...well, you can guess, and having that on my pants probably wouldn't have been so good...) I think it ended up being ok. I didn't see any brown spots... What I don't know is whether Tamaki sensei figured out what I did. She did end up asking me later whether I liked it (after I gagged down the second half in front of her). I debated lying to be polite, but then fear seized me that I might be served this torturous food again, so I said something like, "welllllll.....it's......a little....." I think she got the hint. Hopefully that's the end of that. This whole experience reminded me of a passage in Bruce Feiler's book, Learning to Bow referenced in my last blog. It's amazing how his experience parallels ours. This is in reference to "mochi", a little different from konyaku, but the idea is the same: "'Here, why don't you try some?' a man said, handing me a melted lump. Moving slowly to avoid the heat, I pulled the puttylike ball to my mouth and sank my teeth into the center. As I chewed, the crowd leaned closer to watch. By this time quite accustomed to such attention, I smiled and waited for their surprised reaction when they discovered that I too could enjoy this treat. But as soon as the mochi reached my tongue, I knew I was in for trouble. This gelatinous paste tasted more like plastic dental x-ray tape than toasted marshmallows. 'Be a good Japanese,' I thought to myself. 'Gamman--suffer with dignity." 'Well...,' Mr C said, plopping a block into his mouth and swallowing it as a frog would eat a fly--in one gulp. 'How do you like it?' 'It's fine,' I mumbled, trying to swallow but feeling the weight of the ball swelling inside my throat. I wondered for a second if this was what a snake felt like after eating an entire rat. But then I reconsidered: a rat seemed oddly appealing." And on the topic of food, my favorite quote yet this week: "It was like a womb in there... so warm and, well, comforting." My friend Louise, a JET teacher, describing our dinner at (a very well-heated) Mc Donald's in Aizu. So...what's the worst thing YOU've ever had to eat????????